Anxiety and Getting Out of the House

**This post does not contain tips because I don’t have any, but I need some.**

I have anxiety. Generalized and social. And probably every other sort of anxiety there is. It’s a part of me and has been since I can remember (kindergarten, ugh). I finally started getting help for it three years ago, and haven’t found that anything really helps. Not meds, not therapy, not meditation.

Tonight, there is a local photography club meeting. I signed up (and paid) back in August at the fair, but I have yet to attend a meeting because ANXIETY. I’m anxious about being around strangers. I’m anxious that my photography sucks compared to everyone else. I’m anxious that I have to bring my oldest child and that I will be judged for that. I’m anxious something will happen to the car on the way to or from the meeting (I’m anxious about the car in general).

I’ve been more anxious than usual this week. I don’t know what it is. Maybe the ridiculous summer temps? Threats of storms that never happen? School and homework getting overwhelming already? I don’t know.

I haven’t been to see my therapist in a long time because something always comes up. After next week, though, I am scheduled weekly until the end of October. I am also not on meds at the moment because I haven’t found something that works yet.

**UPDATE** I went to the meeting and I was fine. I knew I would be, but anxiety tells me something different. The next meeting is October 1, so I am planning on going to that. I probably should have posted this on my photography blog but I kind of want to leave that for pretty pictures.

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